The Introduction

Welcome ladies and... more ladies(?) to Beer Reviews MIA, where we save your liver the hassle

of trying out different beer before deciding which one is right for you. We are not experts, were not born in a brewery, and have no communication with Jesus. All we offer are unbiased reviews of one of the greatest inventions of all time; beer. 

Now, the breakdown of each post:

I. General Information

Each post will highlight a beer, including a picture and brief, general description based on "Name", "Origin" (Where it's from, kids) and "Type" (Ale, Lager, etc). 

II. Reviews

The genius of  the post, it contains information such as "Taste", "Color", "Density", and "Appearance", followed by our opinion, who we recommend it for, and a rating based on a 10-point scale. Like an organized, comprehensive piece of writing, each section is outlined below.

"Taste", "Color", "Density" and "Appearance" are all vague, ambiguous categories on purpose. We basically fill these in with our first impression, however ridiculous or absurd it may be (trust me, they WILL be ridiculous and absurd). Our opinion section is written as we drink the beer, as we have high-tech, state-of-the-art, ultra-modern notepads and pencils that we use to scribble notes. We scientifically analyze each sample, considering smell, smoothness, consistency and other bullshit scientific adjectives I can't bother to remember.

The rating scale is ranged from 1-10, with decimals allowed. What does this mean for you? Read on, fucker.

1-3 = A beer you should avoid. The lower the rating in this range, the more likely your organs are to explode. 

4-6 = A beer you'd buy if there is nothing else available, or if you wish to seem normal. A beer rated in this range won't set your balls on fire, but won't make you spontaneously ejaculate, either.

7-9 = This is one good motherfucking beer. This is the type of shit you go out of your way to buy, even if it means drastic action (punching nuns, denouncing your family, etc). This beer should only be enjoyed with loved ones and shall not be wasted by any means, as Jesus will cry. 

As you may have noticed, there is no explanation for a rating of '10', this is because a beer rated a 10 is inexplicable; holy, at best. You may have noticed that the descriptions and rating scale can also apply to women (I just noticed now, too). Which leads me to...

III. Chick's Pick

Used mainly as a mechanism to get chicks drunk, we ask a random female to try the subject beer and give it a rating, based on whatever the hell she wants. We're all for equality, and females should have an opinion too (Legal disclaimer). 

IV. The Verdict

The Final Word on the beer, considering all opinions and factors. This is what you should remember, the next time you're faced with a beer-selection crisis. 

That's all, people. Your comments and suggestions are welcome in the comment sections (as well as pictures, from our pretty female readers).