New Castle

GENERAL INFORMATION

• Name: New Castle Brown Ale
• Origin: UK
• Type: Ale

REVIEWS

TheBraveLittleToaster:

• Taste: Tastes like Heiniken's retarded sister
• Color: Mud-butt water
• Density: Very dense
• Bottle Appearance: Cheap-looking
• Opinion:
  

  Holy shit it's as if this beer had angry sex with a heineken and they had a
  beautiful athletic daughter that can whoop your ass if you disrespect her.
  It's a good brew with a strong taste that immediatly disappears at the end of
  the gulp. Will catch your heart if you give it a chance, like
  Rosy O'Donnell.

• Recommended for:
  
  

  Hercules. Or if you have to fuck a fat chick.

Final Score: 7.7

TheSickness:

• Taste: Smooth and tasteful
• Color: Dark brown
• Density: Medium to heavy
• Bottle Appearance: Like any cocky person, the bottle brags about how amazing it is and tells you random shit you don't care about.
• Opinion:
  
  

  Inscribed on the bottle are the words "The one and only", as most cocky people
  with their nose in the air, they don't realize their shit stinks, 'cause damn...
  This beer smells like a mixture of oregano and smelly feet. It tastes like a
  shitload of crushed plants bottled in rat poison. However, it is smooth to take
  down, if your taste buds aren't incinerated in the process. There's hardly any
  aftertaste (mostly because you have no tasting ability afterwards).

• Recommended for:
  
  

  Practical jokes, to make people think you've given them poison.

Final Score: 7.1

CHICK'S PICK:
4

THE VERDICT:
We're a little confused on this one. Not quite sure when it would be an ideal time to drink it. It's strong and smells awful, but it actually taste good. Although we haven't had it as a draft, we're confident that it would taste better than in a bottle. We figure that this beer is best for people with no olfactory function.